I started out bloggin since form 4. Was influenced by my friends and was inspired with their posts and how they share their stories, jokes, flames etc etc. So I decided to have my own to, but of course back then it was more to my diary which consist of mostly what I do in my life daily. Bet it was pretty boring and I was lazy to update it back then, losing the motivation and ideas, call it a bloggers block ahahha.
As im trying to have interesting posts on my blog now, I still am yet to discover on how my typing and stories to share would interest any of you to read, surely majority would like to read something interesting and not a dull, normal daily life story with no spice added.
So as I was thinking, form 4 was my depression year. It was tough taking on the challenges I faced during that whole 365 days. I just went in science stream, was unlucky enough to get a freaky hantu chemistry teacher by the name of Yoga.
Im sure you guys remember this =p.
As because of her, my work load piled up like shit, projects with freaking short due dates, and the must be punctual and always be in class rule, ugh it was hell I tell you. But since I was kinda neutral with her, it was okay, didnt have much problems besides the projects. Besides having projects which made us stay over at friends house and play with fire hahahha. Love those days.
The first hell was on Vday. Having a gf pms-ing at you on that day sux man. It totally ruins your day hahahha. I had a hard time on that day thanks to her. As im going back in the pages of my life, I started out with my ex, Ching in form 2, simply because I liked her long hair at that time. Probably was mesmerized with her beauty till owh I fell in love. Yea Yea I was pretty dumb and stupid at that time anyway hahah. I just got myself tied with her without even thinking what's next after that, I just simply wanted a girlfriend, probably could say that.
She noticed me becuz of basketball, once my favourite sport which I played almost 24/7 during my lower secondary days. Before I even started high school I really had no interest in it, it was just when I realized seniors playing it looked so cool and it was a " hot " sport that time so I decided to pick it up. It attracts girls too anyhow! HAHA I guess I kinda wanted to be noticed. But anyhow I really enjoyed it. I never knew I would go that far in it too, played in various tourneys, and games organized during sport days, and so on. I really picked myself up from basics to an amatuer level but then I gave up on it anyhow when I reached form 4. No more hardcore training and it had actually gone all to waste, but those were some of the best moments in my high school life, basketball. Skipping classes to play is included =p.
Curi ur jersey ar Juan ahahah. One of our jersey. We buy em every year, kinda waste of money.
So back to Ching. She was my first serious relationship I stepped into. I never knew it was gonna last that long either, I guess were both dumb and stupid to have each other who are not really compatible but still can go on. Those were the days I enjoyed, and suffered at the same time. Many memories were made during those years and fun I went through, having someone to love, support, care, attent to, and vice versa. I even trained her to play basketball for the sports day event xD. That was rather..useless though. She cramped her leg half way the game =/. All gone down the drain wo0t. Nevertheless, it was a gud experience.
Anyhow, I miss those days hogging the phone, chatting till late hours, meeting each other, going out, having someone to care and to care for was like, the best thing in the world at that time of my life. But it all ended anyhow. With just one phrase, "Ill think about it" it was when she asked me, "Do you still wanna be with me?". Honestly, I was sick after all ive went through till the finals days of our relationship. I hated the way she controls me, and kinda got irritated with her sensetivity. Basicly, I was blinded for the years and only at the end, her true colours was showing out and yeap, I just couldnt bare to say, "yes, I wanna be with you" although that would have made all the difference.
I do not regret my decision truly, However, That caused torment to my heart and soul, it was the first relationship, therefore it hurts the most. It took me a whole bloody year to recover. I had some regrets for the 1st few months, but later on I do realized, its not worth it. If I would have accepted her, It would only mean im lying to myself. Simply there is no point in going futher. I have lost my feelings though I knew I still loved her, but just that I knew it would have to end this way, sooner or later. So happen if you are reading this, Ching, I dont suppose ull ever forgive me anyhow, but we made it clear that grudges will be put aside and whatever has happened, will be memories. I dont hold anything against you. I never got to say this to you but fat hope, Thanks for all those times. I really appreciate it and treasure those moments. Plus I have learned alot during that period.
In any case, she had a new guy in two weeks so I guess, either I just gave away an angel, or just that I was unlucky to be struck by the devil in disguise. I dont know, I dont want to know. Some things are better off not knowing. All I hope for is just that they are happy together and thats fine with me. So back to story and im currently in col but too lazy to make another post. After that horrible event, my life totally change 360 degrees upside down. It somehow felt, different after years of doing my duties and all of a sudden everything just goes poof. Vanished into thin air. I felt free, being single for once it was simply..you know FREE ahaha no duties, no calls, no " must stay online for her" which I really hated. Well despite being free, later on it felt quite lonely though, I must say it was certainly quite a tough time going through it.. I missed her, till a certain extend.
But as it goes, it felt much better, without her, I was able to meet many more people and buck up on what I really had missed during the days ive dedicated my life only to her. So I suppose enough about her ahahha. So as I was going through my high school life after that, I realized that, sometimes friends are much better and easier to work with, but till a certain extend. Somethings are just, better off left that way and probably its because ive had too much till i hated it and wanted to take something different. So those fun times came again, so happened my school was selected for the merdeka marching parade, a 3 months hell but at the same time fun for all, get to skip class aso "again" ahahaha. For the 1st few days it was kinda stupid, but after that when once everyone worked together and mixed around, damn it was fun. I can even still remember the parade songs! ahaha. Refer to my older posts, I remember I put up some pictures on it.
So it was when I met another person during that phase. One of the very few gud friends I met in my life. Despite all that it went to waste anyway. Reasons? I fell for her and I rushed things, and there goes, I realized I was too confident during my younger days, high ego, and kept thinking everything was under my control but that was my downfall. I had many other ppl I fell for too anyway, but one thing I wanna make it clear is, Ill never rush things for someone ever again, which my pals keep asking me to do it, they think its the right way to get a girl, but truly, if they were in the same situation, things are easier said than done. But even though I faced rejection, it wasnt as bad as when I untied myself earlier of the year. Ive been through alot of pain, and I know how does it feel, I have the experience now that I know, it definitely wont hurt as much as it was the first time.
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