Happy Birthday....to me.

Emo post, dont bother reading if you dont feel like it.



To most people, I suppose birthdays has been hell lotsa fun. Throwing parties, receiving presents, hanging out with friends, etc etc. Somehow I dont get to feel the same, well yea I do get to do a number of things as stated above and I am personally happy about it but there's something inside of me that's stopping me and it totally spoils my mood for the whole day, which is today, my birthday.

I didnt get much sleep earlier last night. Crashed at 4 and woke up at 6. Another two hour of sleep to keep up with 10 times its duration. I tried my best to not let this bother me and it hardly did. Yet, I still felt moody without any sense of what is hitting on me. I felt like there's no life in me.
School was like normal, nothing really..interesting other than the receiving wishes from my friends.

I hate this, I seriously do. The past has repeated itself. I had this same old feeling last year too. Its just plain sad. The thing is, this year my life had a drastic change and I was totally a different person than whom I was last year. Emotion wise that is. It was my depression year last year, and somehow its hitting me back from the far ends of earth where I left it.

Once again, my birthday comes and goes like the wind. No biggy. Im sure many others would have shared the same experience too but well, I cant be too sure. One surprising thing was my EX wished me. Which she didnt last year when I was hoping she would. It was kinda important to me but now it doesnt really matter anymore but she did wish, so ill just take it with an open heart and of course I really do wanna fix our friendship but sadly, I wont turn down niether would she therefore the war will never end.

To all my friends who actually made the effort, I love you guys and girls and thanks for all the effort and the trouble of doing such. To those others, I thank you too for making me feel happier and for not making me feel lonely like I did last year and I am really really grateful for that.
Despite my moody and emotional feelings today, I think ill be able to sum up to it after having a great dinner with my family. Though the feeling still lingers around, I cant help it. Ill leave it the way it is and probably hope for a better tommorow. Which I really do.

Almost forgot, Happy Bday to Tsa who shares the same bday date as me, and also to Amir (6th) and Stephanie (5th).